Every 4th of July the government cracks down even more on consumer
grade fireworks. Luckily for us, we make our own explosives and every year we
celebrate Destructacon at Hearse House, here are a few of the pictures.
This party usually consists of homemade flamethrowers, rocket launchers,
explosives and goth girl jello wrestling. All participants are invited to come
and anything they wish to have destroyed and we will blow it up, burn it, throw
it out of the back of the hearse at 80 MPH or just beat it to death with a
on my way back from the hardware store, classic.
attraction this year was the addition of flaming metal dueling swords and this
is what I used to make them...
Hearse House III was located in Denver and we lived next store to these really
bitchy gay guys. These fuckers hated us for no good reason other than the fact
that our hearses clashed with their fake flower garden so they were always
calling the city on us. Well I decided to try to be a nice guy and I invited
them to the party and advised them that if we got too loud they could just
call my cell phone and we would be more than happy to quite down. My thinking
was be polite and avoid confrontation.
really gets me about these neighbors is that they are GAY, they are living a
lifestyle that is the subject of prejudice and judgment, so you would think
they would be far more tolerant than most people because they know what it is
like, but no, these ass feltchers were, if anything, more dickesh over the
hearse issue than any normal person I have ever lived by and used any excuse
to call the cops.
the party started at 8:00 and by 7:45 they had already called the cops. Shane
sent me this message to alert me that the cops were outside and Demon
confirmed that they were talking to my Gaybors, er, neighbors, and telling
them that they were going to drive around behind the block, wait for our party
to start and then break it up. I followed the cop car and watched as they
pulled around the block and then proceeded to take off, they did not in fact
about two hours later there is a squad car coming down my alley so I went out
to great them. I said hello and they asked what we were doing.
a lot of shit" I told them.
fireworks? Ok, fine! Your neighbors called on you but we don't give a shit,
have a great night man"
left and we continued to make noise and blow things up. They came back two
hours later after several calls from the gay neighbors. I figured they were
going to ask us to close it down.
"Are we being too loud?"
"Yeah, but we don't care, as far as we're concerned just wrap it up
sometime around 4:30 AM and were good." The officer breifly paused,
looked at the jello wrestling girls and then said "Except for them, they
can keep going as long as they want!" and with that they took off again.
It was awesome, getting 3 visits from the cops and not once getting messed
with and being able to REALLY piss off my jerkass neighbors!
giant screen was blocking the back half of the back yard, we projected the SORP
logo onto it. The evening began when we hit it from behind with the
flamethrower, causing the SORP logo to burst into flames Bonanza style, the
screen burned down and revealed the arsenal of weapons and items to be
logo going up in flames
crowd. Over 300 people attended that night!
of the items we destroyed that night. Note the fluorescent lights on the
right. I'm not saying where they came from, but I will tell you that it was
mighty fucking dark in my office building the next day.
putting the smackdown on some televisions
flying through the air and about to ruin the shit out of this prop coffin. For
those of you who do not know, he is in fact a wrestler!
preparing to breath fire
with the upgraded flamethrower and proximity suit
official injury of that years Destructacon
preparing to jello wrestle!
lovely ladies who agreed to wrestle this year! It doesn't look like it, but
there is over 25 gallons of Jello in this pool, which is a hell of a lot of
Jello to find places to store in your house, trust me on this.
the trophies, there was one for overall winner and one for the first girl to
accidentally lose an article of clothing, which doesn't make her the winner,
but in a way makes us all a winner.