So Rich and I are in 7-11 today getting the essentials, by which I mean food that is so bad for you that your ass grows 5 centimeters just by looking at it.

Now, let me state emphatically that I love convenience stores. I would do all my shopping at them if I could get everything I needed there because it would save me from having to venture into the human septic tanks that are our nations grocery stores.

The one possible exception however is 7-11. I don't know why this is, but 7-11 is like the degenerate loser magnet for every single juristiction in the United States. No matter HOW nice the neighborhood is, you slap a 7-11 up there and within 20 minutes you will have a carload of wangs pull up in a fading orange Firebird blasting Skynard to buy corn nuts. It is unfuckingreal how these people are always at the store by my house. I mean, sometimes I think you could take a firehose to them and blast the lame crappiness out of them, or at least push them into oncoming traffic, but I digress. The point is, 7-11 = Losers.

There are actually people who hang out at 7-11 too! What the fuck is that all about? 7-11? A hangout!? I mean, that is like right up there with having a job at a fast food restaurant and hanging around in the lobby AFTER your shift for social reasons. It is like child molestation, in the sense that no normally well adjusted person would do it.

So, we are in there (not being losers, just buying food mind you) and one of America's youths comes through the door and sees me and starts shouting "Crazy hair! Crazy hair!". This kid was maybe 10 or so, chubby, and presumably old enough to know better.

Now, normally I would let the slide but the thing is, I knew it was up to me to teach him a lesson, so I turned around, pointed and went "Fat little kid! Fat little kid!" which shut said little bastard right the fuck up.

The thing is this...I don't have a thing against people who are heavier than me, or lighter than me. I think that weight should be watched for health reasons, but I would never deride or judge someone based on that facet alone. I feel bad for overweight kids because they get a lot of crap, and I know this, but I could tell by his parents unwillingness to say anything in reprimand to him, that they had never a day in their lives taken the time to explain to their larvae that you have to go into public with a certain modicum of respect for others. Whilst the most obvious response that sprung to mind was to punt him like an underaged football, I figured I would just turn it around on him and have him see how judgement based on appearance felt.