ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with? Some dipshit with a camera phone.
2. What is your weapon of choice? My amazingly huge and potent reproductive
organ.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Never, unless she burned the pot
roast again, then it's Bitch Smackathon 2005.
4. How about of the same sex? Yeppers.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? Hat Bitch.
6. What is your pet peeve? Everything that is not perpetrated by me.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? Only against that
accursed Reed Richards. RICHARDS!!!
SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you have not done in a
long time? Not laugh at retards.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? 24 hours from when I was supposed
to.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but havent? Fuck that.
4. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long
ones...)? What kind of stupid ass question is that? Who the hell wrote this
thing?
5. When was the last time you got a good workout in? When I went over to your
moms house, what!?
6. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? None,
I hit my lesser gender subordinate and said "Bitch! Turn off that fucking
thing!"
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Are you fucking kidding
me? Do I look like some faggoty ass thompson who goes to fucking Starbucks?
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat? I am a strict vagitarian.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one
sitting/outing/event? None.
4. Do you have an issue with your weight? Only in that sometimes my huge biceps
prevent me from using standard sized doors. Sometimes I have to just punch
through a wall to get in and out.
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? None
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? What the hell is that, 'Guilty
pleasures'!? Like I am some dumpy soccer mom who gets wet when she deviously
orders an orange mocha frappuccino (I had to google that word, those things are
so gay I can't even spell them correctly) Guilty pleasure sounds like something
you'd hear some dowdy secretary talking about at Denny's as she ordered some big
ass pile of fudge dessert. Screw guilt, guilt is what bitches who can't own up
to their actions get after they've done something stupid. I RULE!
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Drive around and pay
hetrosexual men to kiss each other.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? I'm sort of famous, in a really retarded
internet sort of way. I used to wish that a lot of people knew who I was, but I
should have used the qualifier "AND that I will have lots of money" because I
have come to the conclusion that being internet famous isn't really, well,
anything at all.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? Gee, let
me think about this one...you mean as opposed to the 152 OTHER jobs I have
accepted that have paid SHIT, been boring, demeaning and devoid of purpose? Did
you have a big bowl of retarded for breakfast?
6. Have you ever stolen anything? Just the hearts of countless young, wealthy
maidens who I duped as my alter ego, the Ermine Fox.
PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? Everything. I rock.
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? Not ended
up on the evening news in a headline that included the words "45 innocent
bystanders before turning the gun on himself"
3. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher
skill than all the other competitors? Life.
4. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? No.
5. What did you do today that you're proud of? I'm looking at fucking Live
Journal right now, what does that tell you about my list of astounding
achievements for today!?
Heavenly Virtues
FAITH
1. What religion do you follow? The one where you masturbate a lot and point out
flaws in others...wait, that's all of them, isn't it?
2. What religion were you raised as? The one where you wander in and out as you
feel like it. Christian.
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property?
If someone wanted forgiveness they shouldn't have been so stupid as to temp my
wrathy wrath in the first place. No mercy.
4. Do you believe in magic? That was a really gay song in the original
Ghostbusters, remember? How like in the 80's movie studios wouldn't pay for real
recording artists, so they hired studio bands to SOUND like real artists? That
one was supposed to sound like Prince, but since it is physically impossible to
sound lamer than him, the song was actually infantesimally better.
HOPE
1. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? Orbital
death cannon platform, better sno-cone maker.
2. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? No.
3. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then
gone ahead and done it anyway? Oh why heavens YES! Why just last tuesday the
girls and I were going to have this lovely garden party with tea, crumpets and
the most adorable pinafore dresses. It started to rain, but we wouldn't let that
dampen our summer spirits and we stayed outside and frollicked while indulging
in our double fudge cookies and orange mocha frappuccinos. Our husbands couldn't
BELIEVE it! Sometimes Spring just gets me so SPRUNG!
Fucking christ. I will fucking kill you.
CHARITY
1. What causes do you support? Yeah, whatever. People don't usually support
causes until they are affected by the cause itself, which is bullshit. Take
Christohper Reeves, sure he supported research on spinal injuries, because his
bitch ass had one. He could have given a crap less before that. If my dick fell
off tomorrow, I'd be a HUGE supporter of allocating large amounts of other
peoples money to find a way to stick it back on, would that make me a true
inspiration like him?
2. What causes have you given money or time to? The 'Get $1.95 To Purchase
Jergens Hand Lotion to lube the Cock of the Horny Fund for Masturbation' cause.
3. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or
another type? Do I look like I have more than two tits to feed the world?
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street? Hell no. Those bastards make
more than I do when you average it out. Screw them.
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like food and rent? Yes.
JUSTICE
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? If I did, it would be a hung jury,
an EXTREMELY WELL HUNG jury! HA!
2. Which should be guaranteed legal, prostitution or marijuana? Oh, let's see
here...we could have more ho's or more hippies? Yeah, there's a good choice for
you. NEITHER. I'd fucking kill myself before I'd live in a world where either
one was allowed to propagate freely without the impending threat of police
brutality.
5. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA? What's with you
people!? There was an ELECTION dipshits. People voted, if you lost, shut the
hell up and just wait another 4 years and stop your pussy ass whining.
TEMPERANCE
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on? I don't need
moderation, if you ask me, not nearly ENOUGH people get to hear my candid
opinions on issues that affect my world which is why I am giving serious
consideration to installing a bull horn on the roof of my car so I can educate
everyone on their failures as human beings as I drive.